Monthly Archives: July 2016

Good grief

Last night — or this early morning, to be exact, I learned that a brother in Christ passed away. He was hit by a car while walking down the street. I’m grieving…I’m grieving hard.

I didn’t know him too well. But I knew all I needed to know. He was genuine and always had a positive word to say. He wasn’t a man of many words, until he “sang.” And yes, that bruh could SANG! Never needed music — his voice was the music. He’d been a member of our church for a while — about a year if memory serves me correctly.

Unbeknownst to many, sometimes he had walked the street the entire night, after being kicked out by his family. And then sometimes, he’d look like a brand new man — clean cut, fresh clothes; couldn’t tell he had any problems! When he opened his mouth, he sounded and articulated like a recent graduate of Harvard School of Law.

So it came as a shock when I heard the news that he was hit and killed. Naturally, outside of our church circle, our paths never crossed. So, in many’s eyes — I shouldn’t be “that shooken up.” But spiritually — on a plane the natural mind could not comprehend — that was my true brother in Christ. We were connected by blood. The blood of Jesus Christ that cleansed us both from our sins and gave us rights to an inheritance within the Kingdom of God. So, yeah — we were kin, and while my natural mood is somber and questioning, my Spirit man is vigilant! The Spirit reminds me that Psalms 116:15 says,

Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.

So, my spirit man is rejoicing, and I have faith that his suffering days are over, and new and everlasting life has begun! Although I will never see him again on this side of glory, he is where I am striving to be. He is safe in the arms of our Father. When questions continue to rise in my mind — “why, Lord, why?!” His gentle Spirit comforts me and reminds me that God, my PERFECT God, makes no mistakes, and will use this all for His glory.

When I think to myself that I haven’t done enough, His Spirit reminds me that I’ve planted seeds, and I’ve watered, and He will get the increase. Heaven has increased and gained a soul. That’s my belief. I trust in a God, who is all knowing, and whose ways are not our ways.

I’m rambling. But my soul is rested now. I’m confident D’s death is only another catalyst for me to fervently pursue all that God has for me to do.

I’m Delijah. Redeemed through Christ. Saddened, yet strengthened by the death of my brother. What’s your testimony?

 

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On Purpose

“Post originally written in August 2014”

As I’m thinking about my purpose for building and sharing this blog, my mind immediately goes back to that age-old question adults have asked children since the beginning of time–you know that one (side eye).

“So ____________ , what do you want to be when you grow up?”

Ever since I can remember remembering, my answer was always “I want to write books and travel the world as a motivational speaker.”

Awesome, right? According to the looks I received (especially when my answer had not changed at 17), not so awesome. I guess most people expected me to say something obtainable–something a 4 – 8 year degree would afford me. I get it, and by golly, I tried!

I considered Engineering my freshman year, Social Work my sophomore and junior years, and settled on Sociology my senior year; only because I was just ready to be done with school!

I’ve received a piece of paper giving me credit for my accomplishments, and that comes in handy still, but I’ve found no joy or passion in my degree–let alone a job.

“Aha, I’ve found the solution,” I think. “I’ll go back to school. Surely a Master’s in “something” will fulfill my life.” Upon second thought, the idea of spending another hard earned penny in higher education repulses me, and the thought of another minute in a typical classroom bores the color from my irises.

And so, I’ve been wandering aimlessly for many years, trying to find my niche on accident. Trying unsuccessfully to make a footprint in the world. Settling for anything in life, because I had no burning desire to do anything in particular. My life was like a song on repeat–same lyrics, same beat, over and over again.

I literally threw my hands up and said, “I can’t do this anymore!” It was at that moment, that Christ spoke to me and reminded me, that He is just waiting for me to return to Him; That He has a plan for my life; and that my purpose has been within me all along.

But wait–there’s more! When I renewed my commitment to Christ, I was flooded with PASSION!!! Passion for LIFE and to have it more abundantly. Passion to live holy and be separated. Passion and inspiration to write. Hunger and desire for God’s word and to fulfill the great commission (Matthew 28:16-20).

I see clearly now, that my original desire to write and travel the world as a motivational speaker was given to me by God, for His use, to win the lost to Christ and to encourage my family in the Lord.

And so “The Living Testimony” was birthed. This is my forum to share my life with you–the good, bad, and the “I cannot believe she did that” ugly. I hope you laugh, cry, repent, pray, and search your heart with me. But most of all, I hope you learn that God’s word is “spirit and life.” – John 6:63

What’s your testimony?

Just when I thought…

…I was “delivert”, I quickly learned I needed “just a little mo’ Jesus!” LOL!

No, seriously though. I thank God for the moments in my life like today. You know those days; the ones that seem like from the moment you opened your eyes, things didn’t go as planned? Yeah – those days. I’ve come to appreciate them. 

I realize that on these days is when God can get the most glory out of my life. In my weakness, He is magnified and makes me strong. In my indecision, I turn to him as the author and finisher of my faith. In my uncertainty, I realize that my steps are ordered by Him. In calamity, He gives me a peace that surpasses all understanding.

I won’t lie and say the road to this new-found appreciation and admiration for “off days,” came easily. Oh no, no, no. In fact, I used to think it was easier to stop striving for greatness. It seems as soon as you feel that you’ve “arrived,” life comes to knock you back down to size. 

I no longer think like that, thank God. I now know and respect that:

Ecclesiastes 3

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?

10 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.

11 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

12 I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life.

13 And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God.

14 I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him.

And I now stand still, and watch God’s salvation. Through my imperfection, His perfection is realized. Thank you God for understanding.

I’m Dee — former worrier, naysayer, negative nelly, all around no good doer — now a faith walker, promise talker, and princess warrior in the Kingdom of Heaven. What’s your Testimony?